1) It's all the golf you can play and as many free vacations as you want. The teleprompter tells you what to say to the crowd and if anybody makes a joke about you, someone calls him a racist!
2) You get a Nobel Peace Prize just for showing up.
3) No matter how much worse black Americans do under you
than George W. Bush, Kanye West is never going to say,
"Barack Obama doesn't care about black people."
4) You can eat a dog and PETA will still love you.
5) No one seems to find it odd that you simultaneously
repeat Harry Truman's famous line, "The buck stops here"
-- as you blame George Bush, Republicans in Congress,
greedy corporations, the European economy, and even ATM
machines for your many, many failures.
6) The Occupy Movement still loves you despite the fact
that you've shoveled billions of dollars in taxpayer
dollars to Wall Street firms via bailouts and loan
7) You can have a net worth of 11 million dollars, go on
multiple 6 figure vacations per year, and hobnob with the
wealthiest Americans at swanky 40k a plate fundraisers;
yet no one bats an eye when you criticize Mitt Romney for
8) The press doesn't incessantly repeat the body count in
Afghanistan in every article about the war, like it did
when George Bush was in Iraq.
9) You get to keep Gitmo open, sign on to the Patriot Act,
fight in Afghanistan and kill terrorists with drone
attacks while leftists complain that you haven't tried to
go after Bush for committing "war crimes" because he did
the same things.
10) The mainstream press judges you not on what you've
done, but on whatever you happen to be saying right this
moment, even if it's different from what you were saying
11) After creating jobs overseas with stimulus money, you
can criticize Mitt Romney for having a Swiss bank account
without being laughed at despite the fact you're holding
fundraisers in Switzerland, Sweden, Paris and China.
12) The same press that was utterly uninterested in your
background when you ran for office in 2008 considers Mitt
Romney's religion, what date he left Bain Capital, and how
hard his wife worked when she was taking care of their
kids much more important than anything you did over the
last 3 1/2 years as President.
13) You can simultaneously block the keystone pipeline and
ANWR while you hold up offshore drilling in the Gulf and
demonize oil companies, yet claim with a straight face
that you're trying to reduce gas prices.
14) Despite the fact that you're conducting war across the
globe and have never served in the military, nobody calls
you a chickenhawk.
15) Even though your administration helped kill 300 people
with guns, including an American citizen, gun control
advocates have zero interest in getting to the bottom of
16) You have the single most important job on earth and
yet, most people seem to be thrilled that you're spending
more time campaigning for reelection than you do working.
17) The mainstream media is much more concerned with the
possible racism or bad motives of anyone questioning you
than it is with whether your policies actually work.
18) No matter how much of an utter failure you are, most
black Americans feel compelled to pretend you're not a
disaster because they're afraid everyone will judge them
by how incompetent you turned out to be.
19) You have a National Debt Charge Card with a limit of
"Infinity" and you're not scared to use it.
20) Your biggest accomplishments so far after killing
Osama Bin Laden are ending the manned space program,
having the longest string of over 8% unemployment of any
President since WWII, putting more Americans for food
stamps than any other President in history, killing the
work requirements in welfare, giving up on stopping
illegal aliens, adding more debt in three and a half years
than Bush did in eight, and decimating America's health
care system with the least popular entitlement program in
history. Yet, you still have a chance to be reelected. It
doesn't get any better than that.