For Wirecutter....(among others)....

A buddy of mine sent me this, and I *immediately* thought about Kenny.

Enjoy!

BEWILDERED TEXAN

While walking down along the Rio Grande this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the water ; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying. Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown. Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security in Austin. It is now 4 PM, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted a postage stamp...