Friday, September 4, 2009

(Hay) Fever Dreams

My allergies are acting up again, so last night I took a couple of Benadryl before hitting the hay. Most times it just clears up my sinuses, and helps me sleep, but last night.....Oh, Boy!
I kept having very strange dreams, where I was suckered into entering the "Amusement Park From Hell". The lines for the rides were very long, moved glacially slow, and all the people surrounding me smelled like they hadn't had a bath in months.
They all had this "1000 Yard Zombie Stare", and didn't speak coherently. There was loud carnival music blaring everywhere and the heat was oppressive. Barkers constantly screamed at you to enter the side-shows. The food was inedible and expensive. There were no water fountains anywhere, and you were forced to buy flat soda or stale bottled water, and both were almost too warm to drink.
The person letting you on the rides looked like Freddy Kruger, and talked like Hannibal Lecter, and when you got to the rides, they were either broke or didn't work right.
Roller coasters that went 5 mph, and ferris wheels that made one turn and stopped. Getting off the rides was just as bad as getting on. Freddy/Hannibal was in your face asking you how much you enjoyed the ride, and forcing you to fill out a survey as you got off. The survey only went from "Good" to "Excellent", with no place to write what you really thought of the rides. The paper it was printed on was cheap, and tore easily. The pens didn't write more than one or two characters before you had to shake the ink back down to the end.
It seemed like I wandered aimlessly in the park for days, and finally, towards sunset one day, I saw the exit. I made a break for it, and as I escaped the park into the cool night air, I turned around and looked back.
The sign said "Thank You For Visitng OBAMALAND!"
I woke up in a cold sweat.......

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